You've been really active all day ever since I woke up. You've been doing down hard kicks and punches and I feel you burrowing down. I'm loving it, lately I haven't been feeling your big kicks or punches since your so squished in my belly. I've felt great all day today which is strange considering yesterday I was practically dying. I hardly had any bad ache and breathing and walking around was easily done. I also did some online shopping for you today and set up a extremely last minute maternity photo-shoot for tomorrow so me and daddy will always have the memory of you in my belly. Tomorrow is also my 39 weeks check up, me and daddy are curious to what the doctor is going to say. I can't wait to hear your heart beat! It's one of my favorite and most looked forward part to each appointment to hear that bear and look at daddy and smile, it's an amazing feeling knowing you made that little heart beat beat. I'm getting super impatient for you to be here already. What I would've given to have you born today...everyone is leaving to Florida for the wedding Thursday early in the morning. I don't want them to miss your birth. I rather stay at someone's house until our house is done than to have them miss you being born and being here for me. Me and your Aunt steffanie were poking and looking at my belly when all of a sudden you decided to give mommy the biggest kick ever,scaring steffanie! I've been trying to spend as much time with her as possible. We spent some quality sister time together today coming her hair turned into a full out hair do which then turned into me plucking her eyebrows which then ended in a competitive game of uno. No one knows how much it hurts knowing it's never going to be just me and her again. I've been hiding my emotions and crying where no one can see me. I know I've been a lame excuse for a big sister and I can never take back the things I said or done to her, I know I've her her feelings multiple of times and wasn't there for her when she needed me. I don't want to send her on a plane Thursday and pray that she lands safely and be here at home alone without a grouchy little kid asking me to play Uno or to cook her some food. Knowing how I felt when she was born makes me even more sad, I don't want her to feel ignored or unwanted because all of the attention is going to be given to a new baby. I'm tired of seeing people get so frustrated with her or pushing her to the side. I want to be the one who defends her, who she finds comfort in and be what overall be what a big sister is suppose to be. I want to treat her just like she's suppose to be treated starting now and after the birth of Baby A try even harder to keep her involved and grow our relationship...
June 24th, 2015 - 39 weeks 3 days
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